Gary Chapman’s Things I Wish I’d Known Before We Got Married

I went through a phase recently in which I read a lot of relational books, and I think I may return to that trend at some point because it’s the one area in contemporary literature that I think I actually quite enjoy. My interest was partly driven by my own consideration of the value and worth of long-term relationships and marriage. Would be something that would actually suit me at all? Also, there is a lot to glean off relational books such as new insights into the psychology of relationships and everyday relational soft skills that could be applied in a wide variety of situations not simply heterosexual, coupled relationships. Anyway, after reading Chapman’s first book The 5 Love Languages, I decided that I would read his second, Things I Wish I’d Known Before We Got Married.

The decision to get married will impact one’s life more deeply than almost any decision in life. Yet people continue to rush into marriage with little or no preparation for making a marriage successful. In fact, many couples give far more attention to making plans for the wedding than making plans for marriage. The wedding festivities last only a few hours, while the marriage, we hope, will last for a lifetime.

To get to the review, like many topic-specific writers, Chapman tries to expand on the original book, but it does not turn out nearly as good for him as it does for other writers. I, personally, found that he repeats a lot of relational common sense. He may have felt, like so many other relational experts out there, that common sense is not so common, especially when sex and emotions are involved. Anyway, it was a quick read, but there isn’t anything uniquely memorable about this book. Chapman provides similar case studies from his first book, brings in his experience as religious marriage counselor again, and that’s basically the book. It makes for a short and rather disappointing book review, I know. Readers are better off only reading The 5 Love Languages. Things I Wish I’d Known Before I Got Married is a bit of a flop for me. Skip it!

Works Cited

Chapman, Gary. Things I Wish I’d Known Before I Got Married. Chicago, Moody Publishers, 2010.

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2 thoughts on “Gary Chapman’s Things I Wish I’d Known Before We Got Married

  1. I absolutely agree with her opinion!
    It is so much more important to plan a marriage than a wedding.
    Of course your wedding day should be one of the best days in your life but your wedding only last for a few hours, your marriage should hold longer than that.
    I do not say that you should plan everything but you should at least be sure you wanna spend the rest of your life with your partner.


  2. I was not sure about reading this book because the marriage is something that scare me but I finally understood that is beautiful way to show someone your love.


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