Ian Kerner’s She Comes First

I found Ian Kerner’s She Comes First at a Book Off store. It had been on my reading list since Pauline Réage’s Story of O inspired me to add more risqué books to my book shelf. To give you a brief summary: Kerner literally dumbs down the art of cunnilingus for the novice apprentice and uses graphics in conjunction with several detailed routines as examples. I always imagined that if I ever had sons this would be one of the first books that I’d place on their nightstand as soon as they hit puberty in their teenage years. In fact, this would be a great read for girls too for the simple fact that many females’ struggles with achieving orgasm are directly connected with a lack of or improper oral sex.

“The premise of this book is simple: when it comes to pleasuring women and conversing in the language of love, cunnilingus should be everyman’s native tongue.”

“When you are using a dental dam, it would be a bold-face lie to say that your abilities as a cunnilinguist are not somewhat handicapped; they most certainly are, roughly by a factor of about 30-40 percent.”

As Kerner explains, the fellatio is so common place and almost an expectation for men, but the art of cunnilingus is frequently absent in sex. We have to set the standard high here – unless you are missing dental dams in a potentially unsafe situation. “A man goes down. No excuses. No hesitation,” writes Amy Sohn in an excerpt. Kerner who holds a PhD in the subject goes on to break more than a few misconceptions about penetrative sex and oral sex such as the notion that oral sex is not real sex. Well, to bring a little humor into the subject, I’m sure that would be shocking news to lesbians all over the world. This one is a must read book! For girls, for boys, for teens, for couples, and especially for anyone that struggles with the subject.

Work Cited

Kerner, Ian. She Comes First. New York: Harper Collins Publishers, 2004.


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